Still Reigning by The Queen

Author:The Queen [of Twitter @queen_uk] [TWITTER, QUEEN OF]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: HUM000000; HUM007000
ISBN: 9781468311945
Publisher: ABRAMS (Ignition)
Published: 2014-10-27T00:00:00+00:00

4

Royal Travel and Foreign Affairs

State Visits

In the world of so-called “soft power”, there is no greater weapon than a British State Visit. One regularly nips off around the globe projecting majesty and generally intimidating the world’s smaller nations on official State Visits, but being invited to spend a couple of days with one in the United Kingdom is generally considered the pinnacle of any lesser head of state’s time in office.

Had the Amir of the State of Kuwait over for a few days in 2012. Sent Charles and Camilla to go and collect him and give him a lift to Windsor Castle. Camilla texted to say he thought Charles was a cab driver. Awkward.

Anyway, he arrived at Windsor on time and we had the customary carriage journey up the hill to the Castle. The poor chap hadn’t come prepared for the weather and got absolutely sodding soaked, although he was very nice about it. One laid on a few custard creams and a pot of tea and Camilla gave him the once-over with a hairdryer to dry him off a bit.

Ed Miliband popped round to say hello. The Amir had specifically asked to see him, which Mr Miliband took as a great honour. We didn’t mention that it was because the Amir thought he was Mr Bean (he’s got the complete series on DVD apparently). Still, in the circumstances, they appeared to get on famously. The DoE said it was probably because neither of them speaks very good English.

Customary State Banquet in the evening. Dumbledore (the outgoing Archbishop of Canterbury) was there, along with Thelma and Louise (Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg) and Bungle (Boris Johnson). We usually try and get the dinner over and done with quickly and move on to the State Karaoke. The Amir is a dead ringer for Mika, apparently.

Managed to find time to give Mr Cameron a quick call mid-afternoon to deliver a thermonuclear bollocking that his Work Programme had not yet produced results. He said the Coalition had created jobs for many people who had previously experienced years of unemployment, such as the Liberal Democrats. Told him he was on probation until the end of recorded time or until the electorate kicks him out on his arse, whichever is sooner.

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